Vienna/Torn

Sometimes I feel like I'm the person Billy Joel is talking about in his song Vienna. I'm gonna break it down:

Slow down you crazy child
You're so ambitious for a juvenile
But then if you're so smart tell me why
Are you still so afraid?

At this point, I haven't really done anything that would warrant Bill to tell me to slow down. However, the rest of the verse is true. If I know I can do it, why am I afraid to do it? I'm not afraid. I don't have time right now to do what I want. "He who hesitates is lost." I hesitated this semester, and I lost, but not really. I just didn't do exactly what I had in mind. I didn't count on needing a transitional period. That set everything back.

Where's the fire, what's the hurry about?
You better cool it off before you burn it out
You got so much to do and only
So many hours in a day

Currently, there aren't enough hours in the day. I've cooled off some things, and I've been setting other things on fire. So that's not really anything new.

But you know that when the truth is told
That you can get what you want
Or you can just get old
You're gonna kick off before you even get halfway through
When will you realize...Vienna waits for you

Oh God...That's so true. I believe in a go-go-go lifestyle because of that saying really. I'm not quite as bad as the person in the song. At least not right now. I've slowed down some stuff and sped up others.

Slow down you're doing fine
You can't be everything you want to be
Before your time
Although it's so romantic on the borderline tonight (tonight)

I tell myself this constantly. I'm always wanting to do more, but I can't always do more. It's a tricky situation. Some people walk through life because they don't want to miss anything. Some people run through life because they want to reach their destination as fast as they can. I fall somewhere in between those two kinds of people. I think I jog through life. I don't spend too much time on any one moment like some of the walkers would do, but I don't keep my eyes on the prize all the time like the runners do. I speed up more than I slow down, though. Sometimes I stop and smell the roses, but generally I'm going at a brisk pace.

Too bad but it's the life you lead
You're so ahead of yourself
That you forgot what you need
Though you can see when you're wrong
You know you can't always see when you're right (you're right)

This part's not so true about me. Sometimes it is, but on the whole it's not. I do get ahead of myself, but I haven't forgotten what I need. I'm quite aware of what I need.

You got your passion you got your pride
But don't you know that only fools are satisfied?
Dream on but don't imagine they'll all come true
When will you realize
Vienna waits for you

Passion, check. Pride, check. However, I can be satisfied. At least for a moment. It doesn't last long because dwelling on anything--good or bad--is not healthy. It's okay to be nostaligic once in a while.

Dream on but don't imagine they'll all come true. How many times have we all heard that? I always find it somewhat amusing and irritating when successful people tell the public stuff like that. You had a dream, and it came true. Well, why can't my dream or somebody else's dream (or dreams) come true? Every single successful/famous person was at one point a normal person with a dream. I don't think Billy Joel's telling us to give up on our dreams, but still, it's not overly encouraging. However, he redeems himself in "James".

Slow down you crazy child
Take the phone off the hook and disappear for a while
It's alright you can afford to lose a day or two
When will you realize...
Vienna waits for you.

At this point, I don't feel I can afford to lose a day. Nevermind two.

And you know that when the truth is told
That you can get what you want
Or you can just get old
You're gonna kick off before you even get halfway through

Already talked about...

Why don't you realize...Vienna waits for you
When will you realize...Vienna waits for you

And Vienna most definitely isn't waiting for me.


I've been feeling torn lately on what I want to do. I know that no matter what I choose to do, I will be happy with my choice. It's just a matter of choosing. One choice (A&R rep) would please just about everyone I know, but I'm not sure if that's what I want to do. It would be the safer of the two. The other option is being a performing songwriter. That would probably please just about everyone I know, but only if I made it "big."

The lyric from "James" that I love so dearly is
Do what's good for you
Or you're no good for anybody

I have time to figure out what's good for me. Thanks, college. I'm going to test out both fields. I'll get a band together for the latter, and I'll intern at record companies over the next four years to get a feel for the first.

To quote one of my own songs:

You've gotta let whatever happens happen
Let things fall into place