Vienna/Torn

Sometimes I feel like I'm the person Billy Joel is talking about in his song Vienna. I'm gonna break it down:

Slow down you crazy child
You're so ambitious for a juvenile
But then if you're so smart tell me why
Are you still so afraid?

At this point, I haven't really done anything that would warrant Bill to tell me to slow down. However, the rest of the verse is true. If I know I can do it, why am I afraid to do it? I'm not afraid. I don't have time right now to do what I want. "He who hesitates is lost." I hesitated this semester, and I lost, but not really. I just didn't do exactly what I had in mind. I didn't count on needing a transitional period. That set everything back.

Where's the fire, what's the hurry about?
You better cool it off before you burn it out
You got so much to do and only
So many hours in a day

Currently, there aren't enough hours in the day. I've cooled off some things, and I've been setting other things on fire. So that's not really anything new.

But you know that when the truth is told
That you can get what you want
Or you can just get old
You're gonna kick off before you even get halfway through
When will you realize...Vienna waits for you

Oh God...That's so true. I believe in a go-go-go lifestyle because of that saying really. I'm not quite as bad as the person in the song. At least not right now. I've slowed down some stuff and sped up others.

Slow down you're doing fine
You can't be everything you want to be
Before your time
Although it's so romantic on the borderline tonight (tonight)

I tell myself this constantly. I'm always wanting to do more, but I can't always do more. It's a tricky situation. Some people walk through life because they don't want to miss anything. Some people run through life because they want to reach their destination as fast as they can. I fall somewhere in between those two kinds of people. I think I jog through life. I don't spend too much time on any one moment like some of the walkers would do, but I don't keep my eyes on the prize all the time like the runners do. I speed up more than I slow down, though. Sometimes I stop and smell the roses, but generally I'm going at a brisk pace.

Too bad but it's the life you lead
You're so ahead of yourself
That you forgot what you need
Though you can see when you're wrong
You know you can't always see when you're right (you're right)

This part's not so true about me. Sometimes it is, but on the whole it's not. I do get ahead of myself, but I haven't forgotten what I need. I'm quite aware of what I need.

You got your passion you got your pride
But don't you know that only fools are satisfied?
Dream on but don't imagine they'll all come true
When will you realize
Vienna waits for you

Passion, check. Pride, check. However, I can be satisfied. At least for a moment. It doesn't last long because dwelling on anything--good or bad--is not healthy. It's okay to be nostaligic once in a while.

Dream on but don't imagine they'll all come true. How many times have we all heard that? I always find it somewhat amusing and irritating when successful people tell the public stuff like that. You had a dream, and it came true. Well, why can't my dream or somebody else's dream (or dreams) come true? Every single successful/famous person was at one point a normal person with a dream. I don't think Billy Joel's telling us to give up on our dreams, but still, it's not overly encouraging. However, he redeems himself in "James".

Slow down you crazy child
Take the phone off the hook and disappear for a while
It's alright you can afford to lose a day or two
When will you realize...
Vienna waits for you.

At this point, I don't feel I can afford to lose a day. Nevermind two.

And you know that when the truth is told
That you can get what you want
Or you can just get old
You're gonna kick off before you even get halfway through

Already talked about...

Why don't you realize...Vienna waits for you
When will you realize...Vienna waits for you

And Vienna most definitely isn't waiting for me.


I've been feeling torn lately on what I want to do. I know that no matter what I choose to do, I will be happy with my choice. It's just a matter of choosing. One choice (A&R rep) would please just about everyone I know, but I'm not sure if that's what I want to do. It would be the safer of the two. The other option is being a performing songwriter. That would probably please just about everyone I know, but only if I made it "big."

The lyric from "James" that I love so dearly is
Do what's good for you
Or you're no good for anybody

I have time to figure out what's good for me. Thanks, college. I'm going to test out both fields. I'll get a band together for the latter, and I'll intern at record companies over the next four years to get a feel for the first.

To quote one of my own songs:

You've gotta let whatever happens happen
Let things fall into place

But I Know Just What I'm Needing

And I don't want to waste more time. Oh, Billy Joel, why are you so good? Honestly, I can't take so much greatness. Words cannot express how much I love that man and his music. He could write the soundtrack to my life. Twice. I really am in a New York state of mind right now. I haven't been since February, and it's killing me. I used to think I could never live in New York, but I have changed my mind. The more I think about it, the more I can see myself there in the future. Either that, or I've been watching 'Seinfeld' and listening to Billy way too much these days. I do have to hit up the city soon, though. I miss it. A lot.

I have my schedule for next semester planned out. The only problem is, as of right now I have 17 credits, and you can only have 16 per semester. You can have more, but each additional credit is almost one grand extra. I can, however, do credit-by-exam for Arranging, and then I'll be able to take all the electives I want.

Speaking of school, I have to get some stuff done. Actually, I have a lot of stuff to get done.

Last Night

Last night was the best concert I've been to. Ever. Ever ever ever. Words don't do it justice, but I'll start from the beginning.

I was too excited to be hungry. So I had a slice of pizza instead of an actual meal like the rest of my family did. Not that pizza isn't a meal, but most people would take a salad and a main dish over just a slice of pizza. I wanted to be there as early as I could be. Why? See the next paragraph.

So a good friend of mine, Nancy Dutremble, told me a story about what happened when she went to see Billy Joel a couple years ago. She went with her husband (Al), daughter (Jen), and her daughter's friend (Jenna). Jen and Jenna decided to go get an ice cream, and while they were doing so, a man went up to Jen and said, 'Billy Joel wants you to have these tickets. They're for the front row.' Jen gives him a look, and doesn't believe him. He said, 'You don't believe me? Follow me.' The man led Jen and Jenna to the front row, took their tickets, and told them to have a great time. And I know they did just that. So what does this have to do with me? Well, I knew about the ticket men. They're Billy's roadies. Billy holds the good seats until the day of the show, distributes the tickets amongst his roadies, and has them give them out to random fans (mainly women--most of them young). Unfortunately, I was there alone at the time. So I called my sister and told her to get here so I could get tickets. She comes, and not even five minutes later, a roadie (his name was Kevin, and he's the bass tech) came up and gave us two tickets to the "pod section" (two sections of 4 rows on either side of the stage. We were in the fourth row, but not for long. Continue reading). I was so excited, I gave Kevin a hug. I think he appreciated giving the tickets to such a fanatic like me. It means more. I wasn't the prettiest girl there, but I was probably the biggest 17-year-old Billy Joel fan he's ever seen.

I darted through the crowd to get to the escalator. As the usher brought me to my seat he said, 'Once he plays 'Movin' Out' you can go up to the stage.' So that made my fourth-row even better. Once I got there I felt a bit sad. See, my mother is a much bigger Billy Joel fan than my sister is. I wouldn't even say that my sister is a fan. She enjoys his music, but probably couldn't have named ten of his songs before last night. However, my mom could've named 20 out of 23 songs (I could name them all. I knew every word. But that's besides the point). So I felt bad that my mom wasn't down there with me (well, not right away anyway). I offered up my ticket, but she said no, and told me to have a great time down there. And I did. I still haven't hit the high point..points (there were so many).

The second the lights went down, I stood up. And as soon as 'Prelude/Angry Young Man' came on, I started bawling. When I don't know how to react, I cry. It's probably the greatest defense mechanism I have. I was so overjoyed/excited to be where I was, I didn't know what to do. So I cried. I didn't sit down at all. I didn't care about the people behind me. I was gonna stand up and sing my ass off all night long. On a side note: We were on the side of the guitarist (Dave Brown..amazing), so that was really cool. No one else around me (including my sister) stood up. Well, one lady two rows in front of me did, but she was sitting from time to time. During 'Allentown', my sister said she had to go to the bathroom or something, so I gave her my ticket and said, 'Here, go get Mom. She has to be down here.' As soon as the song ended ('Don't Ask Me Why' was next), my mom and sister returned and the night just got better. My mom is the best person to have at a concert. She loves them just as much as I do. So we dance and sing like fools, but no one cares..or notices.

The very next song he played was 'Movin' Out', so I grabbed my sign (my famous sign. Always says the same thing. I'll reveal it later), and ran over to the front. I was no more than eight feet from the man himself. Right up on the stage. It was amazing. I was so glad my mom got down there. It wouldn't have been nearly as much fun as it was.

Back to the sign. I don't remember when I opened it up, but I did, and Dave saw it and laughed. Billy saw it after the next song (which I can't remember what it was..Root Beer rag maybe). He looked at me, shrugged, and pointed towards Dave who didn't notice. It was still wicked cool. Billy became more friendly towards me as the night went on. I'll explain more further down the line.

Did I say I knew every word to every song? Well, I did. He didn't throw me any curve balls. Well, he didn't, but his roadie did. I had seen in past set-lists that Billy had been playing 'Highway to Hell', and that kind of took me by surprise. Well, Billy doesn't sing it, his roadie of 30 years does. His name is Chainsaw, and watching him sing was one of the funniest things I had seen in my entire life. Also, Dave soloed right in front of me which was wicked cool. We became buddies in a way haha. It's hard to describe. If he saw me again, he would recognize me. He played a lot in my direction (thanks to the sign). We saw him (Chainsaw, not Billy..God, had I met Billy Joel..)after the show and he gave us a bunch of guitar picks. He gave us more guitar picks than I had bought in the past year. Anyway. Chainsaw did his thing, and then Billy jumped right into his next song--which I want to say was 'It's Still Rock n Roll To Me,' and even if it wasn't (It may have been 'We Didn't Start The Fire), I need to talk about it.

The piano goes under the stage during 'Rock n Roll'. Billy tries to get all fancy with the microphone. It takes him a while, but he does get it going. So getting back to being friendly with me, the very last line of the song is 'It's still rock n roll to me!' And you can hear it on the record, the band screams it. So instead of the band screaming it, he comes right up to where I was standing and puts the microphone out in front of me (and the people next to me), and we scream into it, "IT'S STILL ROCK N ROLL TO ME!" It was amazing. He shakes a few hands, including mine, and gets back to work..if you want to call it that.

He talks a lot. He has a lot of banter, which I love. He thanks the audience for showing up, talks about his "special effects" (his piano rotates from time to time so one side of the audience doesn't always get head--"which in theory is a good thing," says Billy). He gave some background to his songs, had great energy with his band (and his audience). He loves what he does. How can he not? He said it himself, 'If you can get this job, take it.' I couldn't agree with him more.

Alright, so at some point towards the end of the show, Billy walks over to where I am and slams his foot down in front of me. I look up, and he's pointing at his left shoe. He had me tie his shoe!!!! I tied Billy Joel's shoe! After I did it, he looked at me again and gave me a smile and I think a handshake. Either way, direct eye-contact with your hero is pretty fucking awesome. And I don't swear that much.

His set-list was nearly perfect. There were a few songs I would have loved to have heard ('Big Shot', 'I Go To Extremes', 'Goodnight Saigon', and 'A Matter Of Trust' would've made the night even that much better). It was still a phenomenal show. But wait! There's more! So towards the end of the show, the band shakes hands, and Billy does again as well. So Dave's shaking hands. You know, just the usual brief touch. He comes up to me and gives me a big man-shake as I call it. I also got one of his guitar picks, and it was actually one he used! That was really cool. When Billy Joel comes by, he stomps all over my sign which I had lying face up. He smiled at me and laughed. That was even cooler. What did the sign say? It said (as do all my signs..in all caps): Hey Billy Can I Play Guitar With You? I didn't get to play guitar with him, but I did shake his hand three times, get three of his guitar picks, tie his shoe, and make tons of eye-contact with him. He also sweat on me a little bit. All in all, it was an absolutely amazing night. The only better night was when I met Bruce Springsteen. And part of that is only because I wasn't anticipating meeting Bruce. I had a feeling I would get down front. I was too excited for the crew not to see me. I even wore makeup!

So yeah, that's my Billy Joel experience. It was the best concert I've ever been to. As much as I love John Mayer, he ain't Billy Joel. Bruce and Billy are equal in different ways in book. His (Billy's) songwriting is so incredible. I consider every song I write to be a bad Billy Joel song hahah! I try to mimic him, but I'm not that good...Yet.

Tonight (And Other Things)

I have been waiting for tonight for a very, very long time. Why? I'm going to see my biggest songwriting influence ever, Mr. Billy Joel. Yep. That's right. Billy Joel has more influence on my writing than anyone. After I point it out, it's really quite obvious. He's so loquacious, and his melodies are incredible. I'm not anywhere near his ability (yet). He's also been doing this for about 40 years now..Which is about 36 years longer than I've been working at this stuff. That's a long time. Tonight is also the Block Party, which is essentially the "kick-off" of La Kermesse (big Franco-American festival), and I'm missing it. It's very similar to the class trip/Alicia Keys thing, only this time it's, "But, Amy, it's the Block Party!" And I reply, "Yeah, but it's BILLY JOEL! BILLY JOEL!!!" Haha!

Speaking of songwriting, I have been writing a lot lately. I have so many lyrics, and the melodies/the music is slowly forming. As soon as I get my (mom's) Macbook, I'll be able to record and edit and POST my songs. How does that sound to you? It sounds pretty damn good to me. Then once I'm at Berklee..with Logic Express 8..Oh boy..Be ready. That's all I have to say about that. Be ready. Be ready.

Ah, Berklee. I'm getting really sick of waiting for you. Thank God I have an absolutely amazing summer (Alicia Keys, Billy Joel, Bon Jovi, John Mayer, TWO Red Sox/Yankees games, Bruce Springsteen, and Europe), otherwise I may go insane. I'm so ready to get out of this town. I have been for some time. I can't wait to be around musicians and music 24/7. While my friends are struggling with Calculus, I'll be arranging. It'll be funny talking to them about what I'm doing because they'll have no idea/probably be a little jealous because I'm doing what I love, and they're waiting to get to that point. Unlike many, I know what I want to do. I don't have to lay on my bed, stare at the ceiling, and ask myself what I want to do with my life. I've been doing it for about five years now. Berklee is the next necessary step I have to take. And I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm more than willing to give up my social life from time to time to transcribe Billy Joel songs, write a few of my own, and blues out. So what if I don't go out every weekend? I have more important things to do sometimes.

That being said, I have to go get ready, and then transcribe Billy Joel songs. I'll see you later. How much later? That's a good question.