Does It Ever End?

Do yourselves a favor and never get mono. Never. Get. Mono.

For the past seven weeks or so my life has been turned upside-down. I don't even know where to begin to explain it. I'm repeating myself as it is.

You know what, just don't get mono. Unless you enjoy being debilitated for a bit. I have been attacked, compromised, however you want to look at it, I'm answering to something I don't want to. Not that I typically rail against exhaustion, but usually it's caused by running (something I love dearly). In this case, it's constant.

Lately I haven't been myself. I'm usually in good spirits and bursting with energy. At the moment I'm just alright and pretty tired. I feel like I'm copping out when I say I'm tired because I have mono. Those words don't easily roll off my tongue, which is also unusual.

My whole state of being is unusual. My sleep habits are bizarre. For example, I went to bed at 11.30 last night, didn't fall asleep until after 1, and woke up starving at 6. I thought my stomach was going to eat itself, which is odd because I had a bowl of cereal around 10.45, shortly before I went to bed.

Clearly my eating habits have been bizarre, too. My dad and Bob (my second-dad who has done more than his fair share in terms of listening to me whine about mono) said that my metabolism has gone crazy because of mono and they're probably right. Up until this week I was an eating machine. I was hungry all the time. Now I have to think about whether or not I actually am hungry.

My mom said that one of the reasons I've been feeling down is probably due to my inability to run (out of fear of spleen-rupturing, which would really be the cherry on top of this) and therefore I'm not getting any endorphins. Julia said that as well. To quote Legally Blonde, 'Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don't shoot their husbands.' Not that I'm married, but that's true, and easily one of my favorite lines from a movie.

My workload is fairly daunting at times. Two months ago it wouldn't have been, but given the circumstances it's intimidating. I'm doing too much: 16 credits (a full schedule at Berklee), Peer Advising, Music Business Club, and the Music Business Journal just to name a few. I didn't cut back out of fear of falling behind, but I think I screwed myself over by not taking a step back. I might withdraw from a class if my energy/normal life doesn't return soon.

My doctor told me that one day I'm gonna wake up and be full of energy. On that day I will and go for a long run by the river while crying tears of joy.

Back to the Grind

It's funny how I'm about to write about getting back to work, and that's exactly what I'm not doing by writing this. Anyway.

Back to the grind.

Yesterday's feelings of uneasiness have gone away. Not only am I ready to work, but I'm excited to work. I have a lot to do. A lot. I think once I get back into the swing of things it won't be so overwhelming, but I'm ready for it. I'm ready for all of it.

I don't just mean school stuff, either. I'm talking about songwriting and practicing and performing. As odd as it sounds, I get a little intimidated by my own ambitions from time to time. The ambitious, determined, happy, and confident Amy is seen much more often than the one that's not. That's the one you'll see probably 330 out of 365 days a year, maybe more. The other one is a little bit more...I don't want to say apprehensive...The other one, the rare side of me, generally says, 'What are you doing?!?! I'm tired! Stop!' I can't stop now. I've worked too hard to pack it up and quit before I really even get going. I'm still planning a few things, but I'll be ready sooner rather than later. Ready for what? Many, many, many things.

This is gonna be a good year. I can feel it.

Now, back to the grind.

It's Raining

It's raining right now. I'm not a huge fan of rain, or of any precipitation for that matter. I prefer sunshine. Rain puts me in a weird mood. Indifferent is probably the best way to describe it.

School's going by pretty quickly which is great. I can't wait for summer! And then Berklee!! I'm going to several concerts this summer--including BILLY JOEL and BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN! I can't tell you how excited I am! I've never seen Billy Joel. I saw Bruce this past November in Boston. He was awesome, but I know he'll be better in the summer. The concert's at Gillette Stadium, and Bruce is much more powerful in front of 60,000 people than he is in front of 16,000. If John Mayer comes around..man, it'll be the best summer ever. I'll also be taking a two-week trip to Europe in August. Like I said, it's going to be an amazing summer.

I have a band now. After three years of trying to get a solid band together, I think I finally have one. It's made up of myself and three good friends. I play guitar and sing, Matt plays guitar, sings, plays piano and drums, Josh plays bass, and Nate drums, plays guitar, and sings. I've got a good feeling about this. Three out of four of us are going to music school. I think that's pretty cool.

In other news, the Red Sox are 3-1 and we're playing the Blue Jays tonight. I don't think the Jays are any better than last year. They didn't make any big moves in the off-season. They always play tough against the Sox though...It'll be good.

Prom is just around the corner, or according to most people it is. It's a month away, give or take. I am going. I have a date and a dress and a hair appointment and an after-party to attend to. But I don't even know if I want to go. At the moment I don't really feel like it. It's a glorified, overly-expensive high school dance. Yes, I know in a little while I'll be excited for Prom, but as of right now I am not. I'd rather spend the night in dirty ol' jeans and hoodie with my hair up in a messy pony tail playing guitar. That's the difference between me and most people. Give me a guitar, and I'm happy. Give me a baseball game, I'm happy. It doesn't take much.

I know I'm not really weird, but I'm not exactly normal. It's hard for me to just like something. I have to go in all the way. There are some things I simply 'like,' but they are few and far between. I'm very passionate. Actually, I probably passed passionate a few miles ago. People that barely know me could tell you my two favorite things (excluding friends and family, of course), and they are music and the Red Sox (well, baseball in general). And for those of you that didn't know that, now you do.

That about does it, and I need to make a phone call.

Some Insight

Hi, everyone, my name is Amy and this my latest blog. I've had several before, and I felt I needed a change. I'm still not a huge fan of words on a screen. I prefer pen and paper, but every now and then a blog comes in handy. I'll mainly use this to convey my thoughts, feelings, and opinions on things.

So here's some insight on me:

I'm a guitarist/singer/songwriter. I'm going to Berklee College of Music next year, and I can't wait. High school is mainly a waste of time now. I don't want to care about it, but I still do. Senioritis has yet to infect me, which is surprising.

Guitar is predominantly my life. I love everything about it.

I love writing songs. I may even post some. I've got a lot to say, and writing a song is the best way for me let it out. I'm not much of a visual artist. I prefer music and words.

I'm an avid avid avid Red Sox fan, and I was before they won. Fenway Park is my second home. I would love to go camp out in the outfield for a night or two..or for the entire summer.

Bruce Springsteen, Billy Joel, and John Mayer are my three favorite artists. Each hold a special place in my heart. I don't want to give it all away, the reasons are obvious. I love many, many, many other artists/bands as well.

I also love blues. I just don't talk about it as much as the three above.

I'm a ball of energy. I find it hard to sit still for long periods of time. My mind's always running as well.

Boston is my favorite place outside of London.

I talk too fast and tend to talk too much.


That sums it up pretty good. I'll think of better things to talk about than myself next time.